The 1 Email That's Gonna Turn It All Around
I hope I don't fuck this all up!!!
Good evening my gorgeous and angelic friends,
Since a young age (right now) I have dreamed of writing an amateur newsletter that transcribes my beautiful and academy-nominated thoughts. All of my preexisting online writing is satirical and fictional, so it’ll be nice to hear about me for once, I imagine! My arms are simply just so weak from constantly holding a mirror to society!!
Normally when I post materials (no, not content, sweetie—materials) to Instagram, I do so on all fours, sobbing and begging. Now I’m excited to introduce a twist on such a timeless and classic physicality (I will still be in that position, but in front of a laptop sending blunt forced emails straight to inbox). Also:
I apparently needed a mailing list.
I belong to a community of kind, supportive friends who summon my humility every 14 calendar seconds with loving words like, “I don’t see your Instagram, so text me when you have a show” or “this Z-list actor reposted your headline but I had no idea you wrote this”. So welcome to the renaissance!
Something FUNNY THAT’S INSTANTLY GRATIFYING:
Behold Your Newest Silver-Screen Sex Goddess, Jane Neighbor by Rachel Axler is one of my favorite humor pieces of all time. A masterclass in satire and absurdist jokes. When I finally set up my comedy writing class I keep telling every living person about, trust this will be discussed.
I also love 1) this work of cinema (Instagram reel) from my friends Rebecca, Mariah, and Caroline and 2) the timing of this great joke by Molly Zalman.
Something FUNNY THAT’S ON THE HORIZON:
Two things!
1: My dear friend and frequent collaborator Shelby Slauer wrote a comedic play that I am in called The Gospel According To Peter. It’s a thought-provoking genre parody of Jesus and his disciples in the style of reality TV. Come see it at Brooklyn Comedy Collective Sunday, January 28th, at 7pm! I will be off book!!!
What do we think about this other headshot I took for Shelby’s poster? Too much teeth?
2: I write and perform on a trans-led political comedy series called Late Stage Live! with Ella Yurman. Every episode I am blown away by the god-tier intelligence and talent of everyone involved in the production of this project. The third episode will drop later this month. If the spirit compels you, consider subscribing to the Patreon!
And if you’re based in New York and ever interested in joining the live studio audience, please reach out! So far everyone who has seen the show live has gained 7 years to their lifespan.
:)
Wow, what a groundbreaking template for a newsletter I now have to do every edition! I once had a therapist who, instead of telling me exactly what to do at all times (like a BRAVE therapist would), she would identify words I use and suggest more positive substitutes.
One time she suggested that I replace the phrase “I have to do this thing” with “I get to do this thing”. For example: I get to stop seeing this lady who told me she used my copays her hard-earned legal American tender to buy a condo in Manhattan.
Thank you for reading the first edition of my emails that will turn it all around! <3
not content, sweetie—materials!